You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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