Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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