I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
