Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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