Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
