My boss' voice literally gives me gas
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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