I accidentally had phone sex last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
