I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
