she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
