What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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