maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
