He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
last night I used snow as a chaser
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
