You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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