I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fuck appropriateness.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
