They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
