We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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