Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
