I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize