Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
