the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
