At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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