Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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