So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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