you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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