Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
