I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
