So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
