she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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