Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
