He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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