fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
