I think I died a long time ago.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
