office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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