I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
