I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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