I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
