I am in a vortex of obligation.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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