There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
please come you make the beer taste better
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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