i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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