We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
