dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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