Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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