All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
