I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
