problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
