I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
