After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
