it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
