you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I could make wine with my vomit
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
