The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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